My wife passed away late last year, which was obviously incredibly sad, tragic and traumatic for her, me, our children, her Mum, and other family, colleagues and friends.
We were devastated; she was so young, and full of life, never smoked or drank, and fundamentally, was one of the most thoughtful, kind and beautiful souls you could ever hope to meet. She had a smile that could light up a room. She was loved by so many.
She always put others above herself, was a wonderful life partner, mother to our two 20+ age children and daughter to her 82 year old mother.
In the last two months, when the horribly aggressive cancer had returned and she was in hospital, everyone did everything they could for her. The doctors and nurses, physios and OT people loved her. She never once complained, never said ‘why me?’ and just got on with everything in a calm and brave manner. An example to us all.
After her passing, the funeral company, cemetery, friends, family and everyone were just so supportive and helpful. This gave us some cheer during a difficult time.
I would not wish what we’ve been through on anyone, but we are getting through it, and apart from ‘waves of sadness’ that (understandably) descend from time to time, we are doing OK.
Legal financial limbo
Among many things that loom over a death in the family are finances. The funeral, legal affairs and probate need paying for upfront (which is $20,000+ once all the dust settles). However, gaining probate (the legal process of dispersing the funds of the departed according to their will’s wishes) can take 10-12 weeks. And before you can start the probate process, you need a death certificate, which takes at least a month.
So, for the first 4 months or so, you are in some kind of legal/financial limbo. Meanwhile, the normal routines of spending continue (and you are trying to keep things as ‘normal’ as possible), plus the additional cost of a funeral (which also needs arranging, and there are quite a few elements to a funeral).
No one really prepares you for this, and of course it’s coming at the worst possible time.
So imagine my shock and surprise when, on trying to ‘clean up’ some matters, such as old bank accounts in my wife’s name, I rang up the Deceased Estates section of my bank, and experienced what I can only describe as the worst customer service ever…
Cancelling the credit card, no access to money
One might expect the Deceased Estates section of a bank you’ve been with for 27 years to understand your situation, and be duly respectful and thoughtful.
My wife and I shared a credit card, a joint bank account and savings account. We’d always paid off the credit card in full every month. We also had a home loan with the bank for 20 years, so you could argue the bank had done pretty well by us, over a few decades.
And yet, when I rang up the Deceased Estates to tidy up a few bank accounts, putting things in my name, allowing me access to my children’s accounts, as my wife had, on hearing my wife had passed, they immediately cancelled my credit card. Right there on the spot with the phone in my hand.
I was speechless.
This meant I now had no access to my funds. The bank had cancelled my debit card a few years ago, as I never used it. I just used my credit card in the digital wallet of my phone. Everything was paid through that. With this now gone, I was suddenly, to intents and purposes, penniless. I could not pay for car parking or buy a beer to see a band I was supposed to go to that evening. And I was about to take my family on holiday overseas.
Worse was to follow.
The bank told me to apply for a new credit card online. The form treated me like I’d walked in off the street and was applying for the first time. This is a bank I’d been with for 27 years remember, and one in which I’d have a spotless credit record.
And yet, as I retired last year due to my wife’s diagnosis, I didn’t have pay slips or proof of income… so, my new credit card application was denied!
Incredible. 10 minutes earlier I had my credit card, with a $45K limit, plus access to airport lounges and all my funds. Now I had nothing.
I was dumb struck by the insensitive stupidity of it all.
What happened next
That Friday I was on hold for a combined 4 hours with 4 different people. None of them could assist me with getting a new credit card, or seemed interested in allowing me to access my own funds.
By the way, saying you’re sorry for the inconvenience does not put something right. Saying you have to do it because of regulations and process only makes the customer more annoyed. (Did these people in ‘Deceased Estates’ ever receive any actual training?)
After a restless night’s sleep – I did not go and see one of my favourite bands that night, as I was not in the mood – I got up early and went onto the bank’s website. I found I could apply and get a debit card (which is almost as good as a credit card really) online, and it appeared in my phone’s wallet in about 10 minutes. Panic over. I had access to my funds again.
Why did the bank personnel not tell me about this the day before? Why did they let me stress out, and not provide this simple solution to me there and then? A simple look at my accounts would have shown them I could have set up a debit card in seconds.
I realised that if I was to get any help in this situation at all, I’d have to help myself.
On a friend’s advice, I set up a Wise card, put money on it, so now I had something that would work in a foreign country, like a credit card. It worked perfectly in fact, including being able to use it to tap on and tap off on the buses and trains.
In the intervening weeks, I’ve set up bank accounts and cards with another bank, moved all my money over, and will soon say goodbye to my old bank forever. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them who the bank was. I will never use them again. I’ve received various bleatingly apologetic emails from them, as I did register an official complaint, but I’m over it now. I delete those emails. Good riddance.
Given people die all the time, you would have thought that the bank would have known how to behave in this situation, especially the Deceased Estates team.
Yes, I know they had an obligation to close all accounts in her name, and as I was an added name (she was the primary name) so their regulations told them that this is what they had to do.
But how about thinking about me, and my family, and our situation? How about updating my credit card to my name, so I can continue my life, caring and providing for my family, in this our most difficult time? How about throwing their hands around me, and actually asking me (as my bank) what they can do to help?
All they did, was follow orders and get in my way.
This bank has shut down all its branches, and no longer supports business bank accounts. Are they really a bank at all? Within a few years, I expect they will not exist. They barely exist now.
Do not forget, while all this is going on, the big 4 Aussie banks rake in $30 billion (yes, billion) profit off us annually. And they wonder why we are unimpressed.